Another ode

I spent my days,
Building up to now,
And now it's here,
I can't think how,
I made it seem,
So big to me,
Love made my eyes,
Too blind to see.
It's about me now?
Then tell me why...
You have to ask:
Will I live or die?
And you can't tell,
How I'll react,
Or if my mind,
Will stay intact.
I'm not so sure,
You even care,
But after all
You put me there.
And is it fair,
That I get scarred,
Everytime I,
Drop my guard?
Now times have changed,
It's fantasy,
That love has a place,
In this century.
And all I've learned,
Throughout these years,
Is you turn laughter,
Into tears.
And is it fair,
That I get scarred,
Everytime I,
Drop my guard?
I never take,
The advice I should.
I'm no so sure,
I ever could
Destroy the hope,
That burns within,
You'll open up,
And let me in...