Budd dwyer

Waking up (...again)

Budd dwyer
Black clouds slowly give way
Reality seeps in again
Dazed, shaken up, why do I always seem to wake up?
The awkward silence of morning
And the sun is back
More terrifying than my dreams
Trapped in the same place for another grueling day
My brains still soaked in booze and I’m every bit as miserable.
Blissfully I start to trail off…worry free til something else comes up.

Inevitably the feelings of dread come back
Eyelids grown heavy, Scratching til I see blood
Needling presence makes me forget everything I love
Gnawing at my sanity for countless time
Why did I have to wake up?
I can’t fucking bear it anymore
Wanting the world to collapse and destroy my body
So I won’t have to feel this way or think these thoughts ever again.

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