When you fuck to forget and you drink to remember
When the day's an inferno and night's are december
When you're dreaming eternal, but living dismembered
These are the signs of a carnal surrender.
When the minutes are needles slammed into your neck
And there's nothing to die for or live to protect
When your heartbeat's a ring tone and love becomes stress
These are the signs of a heart attack chest.
When your losing religion and praying to god
Ignoring decision and stumbling on
A place in your mind recognized as fascade
These are the signs that your senses are gone.
When your bloodstream is violent, and air becomes ill
When w a t c h I n g blood spill's a phenomenol thrill
And your dying to injur and living to kill
These are the signs that your losing your will.
When sleeping's proactive and waking's retractive
And taking a beating's becoming attractive
When going to work means becoming a captive
These are the signs you're no longer reactive.
I'm losing my fucking mind doing this shit
The old tender touch is a fucking vice grip
The love and the lust are just fountains of hatred
And I frown on the norm but I'm doing the same shit
I hate myself worse than I hate why I hate myself
Make myself worse then I shake and I face myself
Make myself thirst then I wait and I race myself
Wake myself first then I pace and remake myself
Shame my self worth when I take and erase myself
Sleep and I wake just to fake fucking chase myself
It's fucked up how I never thought about suicide
Till I thought about how I never thought about suicide
You and I knew that it's the pain that makes the truest eye.
Talking to myself is the remaining hope to blue my sky.
God, if your there, I need answers to prayers, cause right now insanity looks like a fucking vacation
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