Nihilistic dawn

After years of insane wanderings
Doubt spread in my mind
Everything would be nothing else than appearance
Even pain I endured
Nothing more mattered at that time
Even my formerly imminent death,
Since I never existed.

I refuse to roll along once again
My rock on the top of this mountain.
And I don't fear less death
Darkening my sky with divine shadows.

I hollowed out the apparent layers of things,
I dived into the void they kept inside
And I vomited from them the Absurdity
Which meant to lead us to our end.

Suicide is not a solution
'Cause nothing could solve existence,
But it remains the better option
To leave this accumulation of pain.