Prelusion to dementia

I dont trust them, I dont even trust myself.
There is so much, I'd like to tell but i cant.
Or i should not, so i let it rott inside.
Torturing my soul, maybe i should spit it out!?!

...Fuck That!

Torture, pain, anguish...

This is my life in a few simple words.
This is what this world as gave to me...

Why as this fucked up destiny as been cast upon me.
Everytime i think i make a step foward its two steps back i make.
Deeper and deeper i sink in the endless abyss of emptyness.
Each time i try to crawl out i only fall even further down.
Such feelings i cant expess with words.
But who gives a fuck anyway ?
There is no one around to hear them.

The only poeple around to hear my screems,
Are the poeple that live deep inside my head.
Often i look around to see if they are real.

Prelusion To Dementia...

How the hell did i even get in this mother fucking life,
I always wonder if this is truth or dream.
I dont belong here , probably would be better off dead or maybe i already am,
I dont even want to know.
When i beat my head against the wall, why dont i feel the pain like everyone else?
I only feel the comfort of my blood dripping down my face.
When the steel penetrates my flesh, why dont i feel the pain like everyone else?
I only feel the comfort of my blood dripping on the floor.

Its so hot, fuck its freezing cold.
What is happening to me ?

Every thing is gray and cold, the light never shines around me.
I hate you, stay the fuck away from me your making me sick.
I hate you, why the fuck do i say you, you are me...

Prelusion To Dementia...