Pillar

You were a vision of hope, a light in the dark
But you gave it all up for the veins in your arms
Someone I looked up to, someone I could be when I grew up
You had your words in place, your mind was sharp
But you lost your passion for a shot in the dark
A place of security, distraught and untrue
I lost my hope when I gave up on you

Tongue in cheek
It never meant that much to me
But now that I’m older
The more I look back the more I see
The lies (the lies)
The hurt (the hurt)
The pride in you that died inside of me
That all ended when you raised your fist in anger

An example was all I needed
But that wasn’t set
It hurt to know you’d been beaten
You didn’t even try your best
I hoped you’d pull yourself out
With that weight on your chest getting harder to bear
I want you to know, listen to me
I want you to know, listen to me
I looked up to you
But it made me who I am today

And after it all
I changed the course and set the map on fire

Without a light, how could I stay on course?
Without an anchor, how could I survive a storm?

Substance abuse, was the only example I got from you
You weren’t much of a problem solver
Unless it was with your fists

This is my problem I’ve learnt to deal with
Tear the skin from my limbs
It’ll be less healing

I looked up to you and you crumbled
I looked up to you and you weren’t even fucking there